Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Another day, another mental imbalance.I wonder why we suffer from such episodes and realise the answer was the problem itself -- dreams.
There's this peculiar, symbiotic relationship dreams share with me. They force me into states of mind where all my dreams are shattered through the simple act of their consideration. These dreams, I discern, are all too impossible to reach and to even touch the surface of any of them would be the ultimate felony.
This particular dream had shoved me out from my warm, melancholic slumber; the dreaded routine which I had been led to follow. I descend into an introspective, reflective state. This frustrates me verily; being in such a state is pleasant but pain is ever-present. Ah, why must it bring so much pain!? The end result is an awful-looking soul, who does not know if he really is better off at the end of it all.
Depression, despair and sorrow is vocabulary I want to utilise. However it is understood that those are not of what I am experiencing -- or are they?
"Conflict" would probably be the best noun to choose here.
This is not the kind of conflict which drives wars, for war is action. It is instead a conflict which stymies, and leads to a fate much more cruel -- indecision.
Dreams -- to me they are not the oft-claimed "Herald of Hope". Dreams chip away at the very core of my soul, with a particularly sharp chisel at my heart. It erodes the patience I had long-sought to build, and corrodes my once-sweetened heartstrings.
Reality is the destroyer of dreams, and dreams themselves devastate reality.
Perhaps I simply want to go supernova, and cruise among the elements of the cosmos. I then second that thought, as I come to the realisation that that itself, is a dream.
Labels: fail