Friday, June 25, 2010
And now for something completely rehashed. What a chore! Bored once more, These are the result of a beautiful mind thoroughly bored through with the endless, relentless drill of conscript life. Way too much terrible wordplay, that much I concede. To quote:
Enjoy and feast upon this meal, my fellow web-bros. (Webros?)
1. BFBuilder - Hit A Woman Generally
2008, Jazz
This latest album by BFBuilder is full of cool, jazzy blues. These classy tunes will complement any rainy night, and in general, any women you managed to successfully hit on earlier, glove in hand. 4/5
Craftnote: These subtle insinuations and entendre are doubly much taken out of context. Myraid.
2. Ian Woody - The Basest Of Scoundrels
1990, Soft Electronic
The Basest Of Scoundrels is 1986's breakthrough artist Ian Woody's first, and final. Full of incomplete, rough but promising tunes which are in desperate need of professional polish, one can only sigh in regret at Ian's passing in an unfortunate, and bizarre, boating accident. 3/5
Craftnote: The quality of photos on flickr has plunged. Never before have I seen such a plethora of bad photos. Cuba, a very useful font. It's somewhere on the Internet.
3. Chucuyo - In This Finer Dress
1984, Bossa Nova
Chucuyo has done it again, producing yet another mediocre album full of insipid and vapid Bossa Nova. It might not be too far from the truth to call this a cash-grab, especially since her previous, mediocre album was released only 2 months before this. 2/5
Craftnote: I sense growing anger within myself. Perhaps it's related in some way to the photo quality on flickr? Acropolis and Ziggurat, both free-to-use typefaces you can find on the Internet.
4. Simon Beaton - Everything You Were Afraid Of
1997, Pop
Simon Beaton is The Pop King, or should I say, The Poppy King since his latest offering will definitely put you to a deep, resounding sleep. 1/5
Craftnote: So many of these photos emanate a "I'm-so-cool-I-take-cool-pictures-in-an-artsy style" vibe that I'm going rather nuts, even while sitting in my comfy chair.
5. National Register Of Historic Places Listings In Otoe County, Nebraska - Era In Thought
2007, Jazz Fusion
Cool, calming and full of grim, dark undertones. Rather surprising, since NROHPLIOCN, or LOL-ICONS as their fans call them, used to do Death Metal before their dramatic conversion into a Jazz band, and a pretty good Jazz Fusion one, too! Look out for the quiet, Kind-of-Blue-alike track "I Want To Choke You To Death So Bad", their runaway success on the album. It's topping the charts on Jazz stations worldwide, and it should do you much good if you were to give this album a listen.
Craftnote: Ouch, that's a handful. Wingdings to the rescue! Era In Thought is in Bella, and I've been wanting to use the delicious typeface for quite some time now. 4/5
6. Prosheliomyia - On Spaceship Earth We Are All Crew
2004, Alt. Hip Hop
This variety of fly sounds rather fly, in fact. "On Spaceship Earth We Are All Crew" mixes Classical and Jazz music with more modern Hip-Hop styles, and it has come out rather pleasing to the ears. Definitely a must-listen, even if only for the lush and vibrant opening track "Dear God, You Are Dead.". 5/5
Craftnote: A rather humdrum picture of a forest. I tried to make into more of an oil-sumi-e style, and I'd like to think I've succeeded.
7. Vajjala Shiva Kumar - It's A Huge Marine Creature. I Must Defeat You.
2002, Nerd Ska
This is an album which will have a very niche audience. The lyrics in the album are choke-full of pop references, referencing works from "Pulp Fiction" to "Pokemon". Of particular delight to me was this particular gem from this particular track called "Particles, How Do They Work!?": "FUCKING MAGNETS/HOW DO THEY WORK/MOTHERFUCKING ENGLISH/DO YOU SPEAK IT/MUDKIPS/DO YOU LIKE THEM" 3/5
Craftnote: Hilariously apt combination. Cuba is used here again, simply for its ability to induce decency into horrid photos. The original photo came washed-out from a middle-class family's trip to the local, artificial beach; A beautiful typeface and some Photoshop wizardry were involved in churning out this album cover. You might also note that the artist name wasn't removed from No. 4, as I had forgotten to do so after deciding to edit No. 4 after it was considered "done".
So I, inanely bored out of my insane mind, chanced upon something interesting to accomplish on the Internet. The task was simple: craft an album cover given the album's artist, title and image... randomly.
Enjoy and feast upon this meal, my fellow web-bros. (Webros?)
1. BFBuilder - Hit A Woman Generally
2008, Jazz
This latest album by BFBuilder is full of cool, jazzy blues. These classy tunes will complement any rainy night, and in general, any women you managed to successfully hit on earlier, glove in hand. 4/5
Craftnote: These subtle insinuations and entendre are doubly much taken out of context. Myraid.
2. Ian Woody - The Basest Of Scoundrels
1990, Soft Electronic
The Basest Of Scoundrels is 1986's breakthrough artist Ian Woody's first, and final. Full of incomplete, rough but promising tunes which are in desperate need of professional polish, one can only sigh in regret at Ian's passing in an unfortunate, and bizarre, boating accident. 3/5
Craftnote: The quality of photos on flickr has plunged. Never before have I seen such a plethora of bad photos. Cuba, a very useful font. It's somewhere on the Internet.
3. Chucuyo - In This Finer Dress
1984, Bossa Nova
Chucuyo has done it again, producing yet another mediocre album full of insipid and vapid Bossa Nova. It might not be too far from the truth to call this a cash-grab, especially since her previous, mediocre album was released only 2 months before this. 2/5
Craftnote: I sense growing anger within myself. Perhaps it's related in some way to the photo quality on flickr? Acropolis and Ziggurat, both free-to-use typefaces you can find on the Internet.
4. Simon Beaton - Everything You Were Afraid Of
1997, Pop
Simon Beaton is The Pop King, or should I say, The Poppy King since his latest offering will definitely put you to a deep, resounding sleep. 1/5
Craftnote: So many of these photos emanate a "I'm-so-cool-I-take-cool-pictures-in-an-artsy style" vibe that I'm going rather nuts, even while sitting in my comfy chair.
5. National Register Of Historic Places Listings In Otoe County, Nebraska - Era In Thought
2007, Jazz Fusion
Cool, calming and full of grim, dark undertones. Rather surprising, since NROHPLIOCN, or LOL-ICONS as their fans call them, used to do Death Metal before their dramatic conversion into a Jazz band, and a pretty good Jazz Fusion one, too! Look out for the quiet, Kind-of-Blue-alike track "I Want To Choke You To Death So Bad", their runaway success on the album. It's topping the charts on Jazz stations worldwide, and it should do you much good if you were to give this album a listen.
Craftnote: Ouch, that's a handful. Wingdings to the rescue! Era In Thought is in Bella, and I've been wanting to use the delicious typeface for quite some time now. 4/5
6. Prosheliomyia - On Spaceship Earth We Are All Crew
2004, Alt. Hip Hop
This variety of fly sounds rather fly, in fact. "On Spaceship Earth We Are All Crew" mixes Classical and Jazz music with more modern Hip-Hop styles, and it has come out rather pleasing to the ears. Definitely a must-listen, even if only for the lush and vibrant opening track "Dear God, You Are Dead.". 5/5
Craftnote: A rather humdrum picture of a forest. I tried to make into more of an oil-sumi-e style, and I'd like to think I've succeeded.
7. Vajjala Shiva Kumar - It's A Huge Marine Creature. I Must Defeat You.
2002, Nerd Ska
This is an album which will have a very niche audience. The lyrics in the album are choke-full of pop references, referencing works from "Pulp Fiction" to "Pokemon". Of particular delight to me was this particular gem from this particular track called "Particles, How Do They Work!?": "FUCKING MAGNETS/HOW DO THEY WORK/MOTHERFUCKING ENGLISH/DO YOU SPEAK IT/MUDKIPS/DO YOU LIKE THEM" 3/5
Craftnote: Hilariously apt combination. Cuba is used here again, simply for its ability to induce decency into horrid photos. The original photo came washed-out from a middle-class family's trip to the local, artificial beach; A beautiful typeface and some Photoshop wizardry were involved in churning out this album cover. You might also note that the artist name wasn't removed from No. 4, as I had forgotten to do so after deciding to edit No. 4 after it was considered "done".