A man proposed to have gay sex with me today.
He wore a typical army green "Ah Beng" netting shirt, Bermudas and had a face with the consistency of the surface of the moon. He stalked me from the traffic junction all the way to the ground floor of my apartment.
He pitched himself as a man trying to do a survey for a book. Naturally, I was curious, and so agreed to do a survey.
His first question was in mandarin.
"Are you a liberal or a conservative?"
I replied that I was the former. He promptly went on to ask me questions about masturbation and sex. I manufactured answers for him, giving him ridiculous answers such as "I masturbate 46 times a day", "I have three girlfriends" or "Masturbation sucks". Naturally, he was annoyed by this, and he tried to swindle me by telling me that he interviewed people before me, giving them advice regarding what proteins they should take if they masturbated a gazillion times every day.
I was growing weary; for I had just failed my 2.4km run with a stunning time of 14.40. My legs were crying out in both pain and happiness, for this was my best timing in years and I wanted to take a good rest at home. I ended the conservation with him, but he laid bait to hook me back, and I took it, only if in jest.
Now, you must be interested in what bait he laid. You must also have a good understanding of the literary techniques foreshadowing and plagiarism. However, I shall waste your time like he wasted mine, and say that I simply replied "I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you said," to every sentence he managed to fabricate.
Turning the tables on him, I requested the name of this book and its author. It wasn't easy for him to come up with an imaginary name, taking him three seconds to come up with. Calvin Nick, he said. You Need To Know was the title of the book and the author was from Malaysia.
Now this was the final straw. I stood up on him and went home. Not surprisingly, Google proved that there was neither the man Calvin Nick nor the book You Need To Know.
This is my story of how a man attempted (and failed) to have gay sex with me.
The police should really conduct more checks on suspicious looking people like him. God knows (even if there really is no God out there) how many people he has conned in a single day.