Shocking Revelation About the G-Shock -
"G-Shock Can't Take The Shocks"
Prelude
Upon stumbling upon a nice and fanciful G-Shock in my school's computer lab, I was overwhelmed by the functions it could perform. A Databank, Local Time, Alarms and a Stopwatch function was standard fare for such a watch, and it lived up to its functionality. Physically, the metal cage surrounding the watch made it seem like an impenetrable fortress, capable of withstanding all but the most extreme of shocks. The "10 BAR Water-resistant" text engraved on the back of the watch made it all the more menacing. Now, being a good and curious student, the thought of putting the watch through a battery of tests naturally came to mind. Hence, the tough looking watch was put to the tests I and some of my mates had deviously crafted.
Test 1:
Well the bit where the strap was connected to the watch face seemed like a likely place to start. I twisted the strap hard but my strength was peanuts compared to the filthy rubber strap. Even a classmate of mine couldn't tear it to shreds. (Mind you, this classmate of mine is one of the strongest in the class) The watch had suffered no damage at all and the cute man running on the minute LED screen still had the guts to go on. Dejected, I moved onto the next test.
SCORE: 10/10
Test 2: Watch Whacks White Walls
Simply to put, this test involves white walls, whacking and the watch itself. Imagination is a powerful tool, and I suggest that you use it now. Imagine me holding the watch by the strap and slamming it into a white wall. Tough as the watch is, the strap fell off easily - comparable to how easy it is to get a scolding from a teacher. I had no choice but to fail Mr. G-Shock here.
SCORE: 4/10
Test 3: Clocking Credible Credits
The watch performance here was abysmal: the remaining strap fell off after decimating the vulnerable rubber bit on the concrete carpark. "FAIL"
SCORE: 2/10
Test 4: Wood Wants Watch
Watch > Wood
SCORE: 0/10 (for destroying public property - bad watch!)
Test 5: Dramatic Door Destruction
The watch was thrown at a door at high velocity resulting from energy transferred to it by an external source, hereby known as Person Z. Watch rebounded with massive force upon hitting the wooden door. Person Z now sticks the watch between the door and its frame. Person Z applies pressure to the door. Door hits the watch with great force. No visible change was observed.
SCORE: 7/10
Test 6: Chair Challenge
After all those sciencetific(sic) experiments involving advanced technology, it's time to go back to the basics. Yes, getting a plump person to sit on the watch. Unfortunately, all it served was to dampen our spirits.
SCORE: 5/10 (for dampening our spirits)
Test 7: Scissors Stabs
SCORE: 2/10
Test 8: Basic Brilliance
I, being the astonishingly brilliant character I am, devised the exact form in which to pulverize the watch - smashing it into the concrete floor of my classroom. However unexpected this was, the shock-resistant watch broke. It was then promptly destroyed into unrecognizable parts on subsequent tries. Shocking, isn't it. My tests could therefore go no further due to the cute LED man dying on me. "Nevermore," quoth the raven.
SCORE: -2/10
TOTAL SCORE: 28/80 - F9